just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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