Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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