im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
