so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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