you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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