there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize