This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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