my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
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I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
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I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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