Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
