I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i out mim tonsoeep
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
