Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
