I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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