I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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