How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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