butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
a search helicopter?!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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