Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
