Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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