The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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