So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
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The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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