I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
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The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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