When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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