youre lurking in front of me
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
