The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
