Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
