CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
