Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we're making bets on your personal life
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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