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sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
