remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
