She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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