walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
