You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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