Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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