in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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