I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
