whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
