I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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