it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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