Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
