Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
