are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
