youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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