i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize