i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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