Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think your dad took our porno
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
