someone get that fucking seahorse.
just tell him i said nine months
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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