Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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