Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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