And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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