the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
