My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
