I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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