I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.