Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I cockslap morals
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.