I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.