i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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