he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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