I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
