I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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