Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
