who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We got so high we made milksteak
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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