Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
