he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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