Sponge bath it is.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
