What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
