Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
