there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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